Why Closing a Credit Card Actually Made Me Sad

Those of you who have been reading my blog over the past few years know that I've been following the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover and have been paying debt off.  Minus the time where I lost focus, I've been paying things off at a really good pace.  (I'm $40 away from passing the $19,000 mark).  So why would something like closing a credit card make me sad?

The backstory - I opened this particular card in 1998 and my first purchase was buying swimsuits (2 of them to be exact) for Spring Break.  Over the years, swimsuits turned into bras, underwear, pajamas, clothes, etc.  I always joke that I paid for part of the white picket fencing that surrounds the town where Les Wexner lives.  This card is my last one on my list to pay off (since it has the highest balance).  If keep rolling my (debt) snowball, this puppy will be paid off within the year.  Since I've stopped using it, closing it should be no big deal, right?  Wrong, it actually bummed me out!

Last night and this morning, I kept trying to figure out why?  Then this morning several things hit me:

1.  I associate this credit card with great memories I had in college with my best friend.  That trip was one of my most favorite trips I've ever taken.  I was young, traveling with my best friend, and having the time of my life!  And, I was in the best shape of my life!  Letting go of this card felt like a loss because in some way, I was holding on to those "glory days".  I'll take other trips, but I'll never be 20 again, in college, with barely a care in the world!  

2.  Having this credit card payment has sadly become "the norm".  In 17 years, that card has only been paid off a few times and when it was, it didn't last long.  How screwed up is that?!  Thank goodness I'm working diligently to define the new "norm" in my life!  It doesn't involve debt and it doesn't involve a life filled with thousands of possessions and endless purchasing!     

3.  I know I've said this before, but in the past, I've shopped to fill a void.  Whether it be boredom, anxiety, anger, etc., buying something gave me instant satisfaction - especially if I bought it with a coupon code or discount.  Now when I'm bored, I go find things to get rid of or I read one of my 3 dozen magazines so I can get rid of them.

4.  Just because I closed my credit card for this particular store doesn't mean I can never shop there again.  I just can only shop there with CASH when I need something.  (Looking at my inventory numbers though, that may be a few years away).

And with that, I'll leave you with the view of the beach (and two really happy college kids soaking it in)...

XOXO,

Stephanie